Things i wish to say to my ex.

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The yellow umbrella theory

I’m a big fan of how i met your mother and the fact that season 9 has begun has really got me excited. Really really excited.
I know i haven been writing awhile and part of the reason is that i’ve been busy but also i never felt that what i wrote was complete, nor did it have that flare in it…
I didn’t felt the writing come to life, so there, 20 drafts , 20 potential entries in  suspended animation because i cant bring back Frankenstein. Maybe ill bring them to life someday, maybe ill just bury them. I don’t know?
Having said that, i did have a sudden urge to write about himym, and i haven done a theory in a while… So to all the fellow fans out there, here’s the yellow umbrella theory.

The idea is pretty simple. Its comes off based on what Ted said.

“Kids, there’s more than one story of how I met your mother. You know the short version, the thing with your mom’s yellow umbrella, but there’s a bigger story…”

Everything that ever happens in our lives is part of a story that leads to the one that really matters.

In the 10 years of himym, Ted dated a dozen girls. He met the dream girl who became his best friend and then later married his other best friend. He met the girl in pefect night, didnt get her number but yet somehow manage to find her back. He made 10mins the most memorable date for a mother who doesnt have time for herself. He fell in love with the girl who opposed everything he believed in. He dated/banged his bestfriend’s sister…

But after 9 seasons, a thousand girls later , Ted still haven found the mother.

And at this point in time it seems pretty hopeless.

You see…Shit happens
The girl of his dreams is gonna marry his bestfriend, he finds it hard to not admit that actually he still feels something for her.
He got left at the altar.
He found the girl who got away, stole her from her wedding and get her back only to lose her again .
He had his heart broken and torn, ripped out and stepped on.
He grilled meat in the room of his dream girl out of loneliness.

He did a lot of crazy things.

I mean… we all did.
But you know its okay because at the end of the day, he is sitting on a sofa telling that wonderful story that so many people now know by heart.

Here’s my theory.
At the end of it all, we are just looking for that one huge crazy story that we can sit down and tell our kids about. That out of the 7billion people in the world, after finding time and time again for that one, the perfect girl is now in the kitchen making a salami sandwhich. (I hope she remembers the mayo.)
At the end of it all, what we really want is to sit by the bed side of our 4 year old hyperactive son and 2 year old precious daughter and ask as we tuck them into bed , “Hey kids, have i ever told you about how i met your mother?”

At the end of it all, all these moments of fear ,frustration and disappointment are just memories and events to lead to the real story. The really big one, the one that will take us 8 years to tell? That’s the rest of it, how we came to be who we are, how each episode made us a little wiser and braver to love. How it made us the person your mother fell in love with.

Dear friend , the other Ted, you know who you are.

This one is for you.
You might think its kinda crazy to try and fall over and over again, so desperately trying to find that one person who not just tolerate our flaws and quirks, but actually kinda likes them.

Love shouldn’t be about tolerating someone for the rest of your life, you didn’t get married just so you can spend eternity hating each other.

Maybe you forget that you believe in love and fate and all that chessy stuff, maybe you given up hope. But i promise you, hold on, keep waiting, she’s coming for you.

Also, don’t ever miss out on the crazy moments with your friends. Just because you don’t know how its gonna end doesn’t mean you can enjoy the ride.
And if she really doesn’t turn up, you got nothing to worry about.

Cause no matter what, you’ve got me. (:
Promise.
Just wait for it .. Its gonna be legen….
Well, you know the rest. 😉

To those who haven seen himym, i strongly recommend it.
Its a little long, its been around for awhile but you got time to catch up.

The last season just started.

Join the club guys, we’ve got jackets.

Cheers
Z

“The moments I knew I was falling for you.” To someone nine thousand miles away .

” Dear you

In the weeks before we came a “we”, when we were still circling each other and trying to figure out whether our feelings were mutual, I knew. We spent almost 24hours together each day, back when we were staying in hall- those moments when we cooked together, studied together, watched funny videos together, going for random walks together and experimenting new dishes together.

Despite the countless number of hours we spent with one another, our conversation never ended and you were always on my mind no matter how many hours I saw you each day.Silence was comfortable and I never got tired/bored of seeing you. On the contrary, I looked forward to meeting you more and more each day.That is when I thought, perhaps perhaps…

Those sweet actions, efforts and thoughts that could warm me up, keep me smiling all day long and move my heart, like no one else could. It was the very first time I know how it felt like to be loved: to have a boy rushing over with an umbrella the moment I texted him that it was raining; to have a boy crack my half-boiled eggs for me every morning; to have a boy walk me back home every single day even though

I know he is tired; to have a boy who wants to do everything for me- drying my hair, even though he doesn’t know how to; to have a boy who would specially wake up early to cook breakfast for me even though I know how much he loves to sleep; to have a boy who would Google & Youtube behind my back to learn how to massage, so that he could cure all my old-woman problems; to have a boy who will suddenly disappear and come back running with a cup of hot honey lemon tea when he knows that my nose would never stop running; to have a boy that pampers me so much with no carrying of groceries, no carrying of books, and even no washing of dishes even though I know how much he hates to do so; to have a boy who dislike drawing, to actually draw a cute encouragement note for me.

All these small little efforts and thoughts had built up that indescribable feeling that I experienced for the first time in my life. Up till now, whenever I think back, I still get that tingling feeling which words can never describe…

When I took the first step, not wanting to leave any regrets- the night you stayed over for the first time, having you by my side as I fell asleep, vaguely feeling the gentle kisses you left on my forehead and waking up with you deep asleep by my side, I knew. I knew I wanted to wake up next to you every morning, feeling the touch of your warm body in contact with mine, and wondering how lucky I am to have you in my life…

When you took my first kiss- a totally unexpected peck on my lips. Though only a brief and short moment, this blip in the casual composure made my heart skipped a beat or two…
I knew when I looked into your eyes and saw only my reflection in them; when you looked at me the way I’ve always wanted to be looked at…
And now, while writing this, I know. Even when you’re nine thousand miles away and I am constantly counting the sunsets until I see you again, I know. I know what it feels like to miss you like a phantom limb, to ache for the melody of your voice, to crave your touch like an addict. I know every time I round my lips around your name; every time I look at my hands, the spaces between my fingers right where yours fit perfectly; every time I shower and go to bed with this emptiness in my heart; every time my eyes tear and go soft, just looking at you and saying “I miss you”…

Now, because I finally understand what it means to fall in love.

Falling means trusting someone enough to hold on to you, wait for you and to fight for us.

Love ”

Anonymous

Z: This one came to me today as an unexpected surprise  and I really loved it. I think it’s beautifully written and I’d like to thank the writer for sharing it with me. She requested to be kept unknown so I’m sorry I can’t say anything else about this lovely couple. I do, however wish them all the best and stay strong. It won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it.

This is the first of my guest writers, I hope that you guys enjoy the read, I know I’m still having goosebumps from reading it. I do have a few others coming up, however I posted this one first cause she’s my first first female writer, sorry boys, ladies first. (:

To the rest who are still struggling with what to write, take your time, if you have found the words to say or still unsure of what you want to say, I think it’s a good chance to really understand yourself, how you feel and why you are feeling it. Like I always said, there’s no rush, the best part about this is there is no deadline to pen down your thoughts.

I look forward to reading what you guys have install for all of us and once again, thank you.

Hope everyone is enjoying their week end.

Me?

I’m kinda stuck in camp, just chilling. (:

Love you guys

Cheers

Z

“To me… From me…”

We all thought of it. Time travelling. I did.

Hell, who am I kidding?

I still do.

Every other day I’m hoping for the Doctor to drop by with his blue box, or to realize that actually I’m CDP ( chrono displaced personal) or I’m hoping for Emma Watson with her time turner.  Actually, I won’t be greedy, just Emma would be fine.

So yeah, who doesn’t want to time travel?

Today on my way home my mind wandered and I asked myself, “What if I could send letters through time?”

Indulge me for a moment, I know it can’t happen.

Still…If I could…

I would send a letter to myself 6 years back, telling him to talk to that girl sitting in front of him who he has been crushing on. She’s not going to eat you and really she’s very nice, just try to make friends with her.

Just talk to her already, you dumbass.

I would send a letter to myself 5 years back, to the day I failed my English essay. The day my teacher made me read it out in front of the whole class. I’d tell him, dude, please go work on your grammar. And then I’ll tell him to thank her for it, because if she hadn’t done it, I would have never wanted to prove to her that I can write. And I will never be who I am today.

I would probably send a letter to myself 4 years back, to the day my dad was in the hospital, and tell him that’s it’s going to be alright. You will get through this, I promise.

I would probably send a letter to myself 3 years back, to the day I went for my first practice, telling me/him that you are going to meet this girl who’s going to make you fall head over heels for her. Don’t be afraid of committing, love her with everything you got, just trust that it will turn out okay.

I would send a letter to myself 2 years ago, to that day where I broke down in front of my best friend and tell myself, its okay to cry. I know it hurts, it really does, but I promise you it will heal.

I would send a letter to myself a year ago, to the me who only began to chase his dreams, to pursuit his passion and tell him, don’t feel like a failure because you dared to be different. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are one. Not even yourself.

I would send a letter to myself a month ago, to that day, and then tell myself, its okay, it’s time to let go. It didn’t work out but its okay, you know you never regretted a single moment of it. You gave everything you got. It’s nobody’s fault.

I would go back to last Friday, to the me that was buying that second bottle of wine and then tell him, “Don’t. Just don’t” and then slap him real hard on the face.

I would send a letter to me somewhere in the future, to the me who has become so lost in the working world, so caught up with life that he no longer sees the meaning and then tell him, “Dude, never let go of the things you love doing and never forget the people you love.  Those are the ONLY things that matter.”

I would send a letter to my future self when I finally found her, The One, and then tell him, “Never let her go.”

And finally, I would send a letter to me just before I leave this world, and remind him of the days of his youth and tell him, “It’s been a hell of a ride, old man, it’s time to go.”

I guess I don’t have that luxury, and yeah, it’s nice to indulge in the idea that we can make things a little easier for us. But if I have to be very honest with myself, really honest.

There’s not a single bit in time that I would change.

Have a great time all

Cheers
Z

The Disney Theory

We all know the story. Or at least you think you do.

 

Its cliché, overused and unrealistic.

 

Yet we still love it anyway.

 

I mean… Disney paints such beautiful pictures of love.

Fall in love with that girl.

Love in first sight.

 

Steal her from her evil boyfriend cause you know her better, and only you can give her the happiness she deserves.

 

Live happily ever after

 

 

Save her from the wicked witch, a tower, a dragon. Be her prince charming, ride a white horse a magic carpet or heck, and ride a donkey for all I care…

 

Live happily ever after.

 

Happily ever after… really?

 

Every girl wants to be a Disney princess. Wear a gown, crystal shoes, suffer the wrath of a wicked witch, and chew a poison apple… Anything to be the damsel in distress. Waiting for the prince charming to come by. Every guy wants to make the girl his princess. Or queen.

I’ve heard some differing point of views.

 

And at the end of the day, what sums all of it up?

 

A happy ending.

 

Yet our notions of love fall flat in the face of reality. Love very often isn’t as Disney as we expect it to be. Here’s how the story really goes, if it even does. You fall for the girl of your dreams, your best friend, the one who understands you like no other.

 

You chase her, make her feel like a princess, and in turn she falls in love with you. The start is great, the real love story follows. Conflicts arrives, she’s not the princess you thought she is. She gets jealous easily, her temper is horrible, you live under her wrath, she never understands you, and you? How could you possibly understand someone so unreasonable?

 

Where was the girl you once loved? Gone.

 

The after story begins. The best friend becomes the princess; the princess becomes the witch, the ice queen, the dragon.

 

Call it what you want, you know its falling apart.

 

And the prince? He finds another girl, someone who understands him better another best friend…Or he shouts his grieves online as the word sighs for his sorry plight.

But in reality, he’s no better. Who broke the magic? Was it when he started looking at other options, poisoning the princess with jealousy? Or when the feelings faded, hence the magic ends? Or when the man turns into the monster, in anger, in rage, in jealousy.

 

The prince becomes the hypocrite, the victim of love, the beast.

Suddenly it isn’t love that broke the spell. Love is the spell. And it broke with the simplest trick of the book. Time.

Suddenly our love stories become tragedies. We wonder why it always happens to us. Why people always change. We weep in our beds, cursing and swearing.

 

(Now I know I sound like a sour old man, some loser who got his heart broken and now has completely and utterly lost faith in love.  Bear with me, I can promise you I’m still very much the same me.)

 

So that’s how Disney movies go isn’t it?

Or is it…

 

I beg to differ. For me, I like to watch my Disney movies in a different light.

You see… To get the princess, yes we must climb the tower, fight the dragons and slay the witches.

 

But these things aren’t on the outside.

 

They represent the darker side of us. And the ones we love…They are our inner demons, our anger and rage and wrath…We trap ourselves in towers, build walls that hide and protect ourselves from the world, from how others might think of us.. Secretly hoping for someone to tear them down. Someone to embrace the ugly side of us, the beauty in the beast, the frog prince…

 

Love is about these battles, the battles inside. And us? We play every role, the good, the bad and the ugly. Love is about finding that one person that brings out the best in you, the one who can accept the worse in you and the one who understands you like nobody else.

 

The Disney stories were made easy for kids to understand.

 

You don’t find it at the credits; it’s something that you fight for even if it means fighting for the rest of your life.

It is like every other life lesson, something you learn through life…

 

 

And the cost of true love? The price of happily ever after?

 

Never looking back, not regretting a single moment or a choice.

 

Even if that choice is letting.

 

Even if in the end…  The person she ends up with isn’t you.

 

Because you see… It doesn’t matter if she has her happily ever after with you.

 

She just needs to be happy.

 

 

 

To all, happily ever after.

 

Z

 

The Color theory

This one is for all the creative minds (: Kinda long, sorry if it bores ya.

In art, color theory is basically understanding and making sense of the colors around us. Colors are basically a result of light bouncing of a surface and being reflected into our eyes. In life, the color theory of people isn’t that different to. The kind of personality that we see in every individual is a result of looking at them at different lights. And in those lights we shape our perception  of the people around us.

We look at colors in 3 main aspects, the hue the lightness and the saturation.Hue refers to the kind of color it contains. Lightness refers to how dark or light .Saturation is well… how saturated.I guess the same could be said about people.

Our hue is what we call our individual characteristics, whether we are patient, dominant, passive, aggressive…Our lightness refers to the contrast in our personality, whether is it a mild mixture , or a striking contrast of different characteristics .Our saturation would referring to which traits are more dominant, a more saturated hue will give the painting an overall feel and tone. Our dominant personalities will make up the impression.

There are no limits to how colors can be matched, similarly its impossible to classify humans by their personality. You can try but you will end up generalizing, missing the details, overlooking what makes them unique. Each individual has their own painting, creating a distinct impression upon one another … Believe me when I say there’s no one like you. Each one of us is special.Having said that I would like to share my three favorite color themes .

The first is grey scale. Or just simply referred to as black and white. n. No colors. Such paintings I find incredibly honest, simple and yet striking. People who’s personality is in greyscale are rather amazing too. To some they maybe boring or unattractive, yet by simple contrasts of grey  , they develop their own personality. They lead very morally defined lives, using the contrast of black and white, right and wrong to define who they are. They follow principles that are clear and concise, they are like bedrocks, steady, unmoveable , firm.. yet some of us are unable to see such lines so clearly.

Another kind of color scheme is known as Analogous Relationship , where the colors are located adjacent to each other, people like that generally give a clear idea of their personality. For instance a person could be warm, like red orange and yellow, or cool like blue, violet and purple. Their colors make up their core personality, their colors create  a homogeneous impression, rarely doing things that conflicts with their personality. Such people are easy to understand and hence making them more approachable.

The last kind i want to talk about is complementary colors.

This I would say make up the bulk of the most beautiful people I know. And is also one of the color schemes that creates the most beautiful pictures, as well as people. As simple as it is, complementary colors are colors across the color wheel.

When talking in terms of people, it means people who show contrasting personalities.

Like when someone who is usually timid finding strength to speak up for what they believe in.

Or Someone who is usually withdrawn to share their insecurities.

Even someone who is usually strong to show pain.

These are people who step out of their comfort zone to confront with their inner turmoils, these are people who dare to mix the palette forming newer and more mind blowing   combinations, creating contrasts and confusions, creativity and chaos.

We all have a personal preference to the colors we love, be it the impressions they leave us or the emotions they evoke.

It takes time to understand how is it possible that such play of light can lead to such amazing connections.

And i find it even more amazing that we too look at people in different lights to see the colors that make up their life….

To see what truly makes them beautiful.

Cheers

Z