I guess it’s hard not to admit it, but recently I just lost it. It’s weird. I don’t feel like writing anymore.
Yes, I’m still sitting in front of a computer typing out random stuff that comes to my mind, yes i still remember the password for my blog even though it took me about 6 times to get it right but no, I guess I just haven had the urge to spew my guts out to the world.
Many of my friends asked why the writing has stopped, I wish I could tell you, I have a few ideas but really, some things I guess its better to just keep it off the web. After all, the internet is written in ink and its open for the world to see. But looking back, I have to admit that writing started out for me as more of a distraction than simply a hobby, and now perhaps more than ever, I no longer see a point in being distracted with life when I’m enjoying every single moment of it. It’s funny and weird how some things or some one can help you move on.
I remember a conversation with a friend, who was rather worried with me distracting myself. I asked about the difference between distraction and moving on. He told me this, ‘Moving on is facing whatever you have head on. Its not pleasant and you’ll feel the bulk of whatever’s been biting you.
Distraction is when you’re looking for something to spend your time and energy on. There’s a fine line man. ‘
It’s weird, after all that has happened, I don’t even remember what I was trying to distract myself from. Was it the haunting scars of the past or the uncertain tracks of the future? Was it the decisions that I needed to make, or those that I was wondering if I made wrong? Was it the regrets of doing some things, or the regrets of not doing it?
It all seems foggy and unclear it makes you wonder what was the point of all those emotions. But the emotions make you feel, it may wreck you or scar you but you grow wiser and more matured from it each time you learn from it. And honestly? I felt that there was so much I have learned.
But now, I think I’ll just put writing a little back in my to-do list. Most of my time has been spent with people I care about, on the things I love, doing covers for songs, drawing and preparing my portfolio, going for MuaiThai classes and getting my ass kicked by a girl, you know, typical Z stuff…
So yeah, I guess you can say that I’m experiencing a writer’s block but really, I like to think it as I’m taking the time to enjoy every second of my life before I end this chapter. I guess when this chapter does end, the future me will find it in him to write about it. Maybe more lessons learned, maybe more theories and lame essays but until then, I just wish that all of you are doing alright too. That where ever you are, who ever you might be, thanks for the support and encouragement you’ve given me, whether it is in writing, or the music I do, or drawing…
I just want you to know it means so much that you believe in me.
And that I just want to leave you guys with a quote. ( Nerd moment .)
“One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.”
Do amazing stuff guys, really. (: Just go out there and blaze the world with awesomeness.
Some people will hate you, I know a few people that are allergic to awesomeness but don’t let it stop you in doing what you believe in, and don’t let it make you take the things you have for granted. Treasure those who care, shun out those who don’t.
I’ll catch you guys when I catch you. (: