Why does fantasy feel so real.

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“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.”.” – George R.R. Martin

I love to read.

In fact anyone who has been my house would probably say that we have too many books.
I grow up with words, learn lessons of life through the lives of those who don’t exist, books formed the very foundation of my personality and fiction crafted my perception of life. This was how my life has always been, rooted in fairy tales and legends of knights and kings, I always wonder if I would ever grow out of it. I hope I never do.

I have been told that there is no reason to be obsessed with books, that the world I so constantly find myself seeking refugee is often not real. Wizards don’t exist, neither do demi gods nor talking lions, yet the lessons that I have learned through fantasy is more real than any class or tutorial that I have been through. In real life, I had a single teacher for a single class. In books, I learned a thousand lessons through a thousand teachers, mentors and masters. I was their apprentice, a student of Hogwarts, a Half blood in training. My teachers were the characters of the books and their lesson was taught through their own life.

I have watched The Chosen one fight the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters time and time again, I’ve seen his courage and love and it touched me. I learned that that Gryffindor can be wise, Ravenclaws can be brave, Slytherins can love just as well as anybody and Hufflepuffs can become sparkling vampires. Our traits are not based on the house we are put it, they are based on the choices we make. I will always remember that love is the greatest magic of all.

I have seen the Son of Poseidon battle Chronos, I watched him fight his destiny as he struggled to cope with his greatest fears, losing the ones he love. I learned that even in the River of Styx, holding on to the ones we love is what gets us through the hardest and most painful days of our lives. Never forget what is dear to you and never shun out those who care for you.

I have seen the Kings and Queens of Narnia battle against the darkness to fight for their kingdom, I’ve seen Narnia crumble and rise again. I have seen the Magnificent lead, the Gentle love, the Just lose his way, and then find his redemption and the Valiant forgive. I also learned that the world of fantasy will always exist as long as I believe it does, but I fear that one day my mind will be too dulled by reality that I can longer find my way back. When that happens, no wardrobe or magic rings can bring me back.

I have seen the Seven kingdom tear itself apart in the rule of the Child King, I seen the North rise and fall, the dead come back and walk. I’ve seen kings die and king slayers live. I watched heroes die by their honor and man without it drink and live life in pleasure. I learned that every man must die, but first he must live. That we should never forget what we are for the world will surely not.

 Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.

I learned that the only time a man can be brave is when he is afraid. And after learning so many things, I learned that at the end of the day, I know nothing.

The quotes of the characters echoes in the back of my head as I pen down my thoughts.
I could go on, I really could, but as my mind drawls to the realm of fantasy, the line between it and reality blurs. Then I start to realise my greatest fear, that one day these lessons will just fade, and that I will forget that they were real, to me at least.

I have been told that is not real. Yet why is that I would cry over the death of these characters that don’t exist, why does my heart sink as I see Harry reveal the memories of Snape? Why do I mourn the death of the Rue and Prim?
Why do I laugh, cry, smile, shudder, swear, and fret with these characters? Why does it feel like I’ve known them all my life?
Why does fantasy feel so real?

That should be bad, really. The boundaries between reality and fantasy fractures each time I dive into a new world and each time I leave I feel that part of me still reminds in that world and the book has become part of me.
I ask myself time and time again could all these be real.
Or is it all in my head…
Yet, what is fantasy if not an imagination of a different reality? Like Albus once said, just because it’s in your head it doesn’t mean it’s not real.

As I struggle to pull myself from fantasy, it seems like reality pushes me back in. I see the struggles of life without magic, I see the pain of the real world without dragons and pixies, I see the mundane world; dull, dark and boring. Reality pushes me back in.
I couldn’t figure out why, each time I go back I feel as though life has something to say. Is it telling me to run from it?
I look at the heroes in the books. What made them strong wasn’t the powers they wield but the courage in their hearts.
What made them loved is the fact that they dared to love, to show compassion and to let themselves be vulnerable.
What made them conquer endless foes wasn’t that they were unafraid, but rather despite their fear, they did it anyway.
Reality didn’t push me in fantasy to run from it.
It pushed me in to learn to overcome it.
And once I became aware of that, the blurred lines disappeared altogether, it’s when I realise that now I live in both worlds.
You can call me childish for believing in fantasy.
After all, fantasy is part of my reality, and I don’t intend to change that about me.
Because if you never read, you will never see the world the way we do , you will never be able to stretch your imagination beyond what it is already is, and I promise you, life will never be as beautiful as it can be.

If being childish is the price I pay, then I would gladly pay my debts than to live forever a poor and boring life.
To all, I hope you find a good read this week
Cheers
Z

To share the silence when needed

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Silence is awkward, or at least it’s supposed to be.  It marks this inability to communicate with another person, whether his or yours, sometimes you don’t really know. Silence, more often than not, needs to be broken.

That’s why we have cheesy pick-up lines, social media and candy crush.
Once you made her laugh, it’s so much easier to get her number. Get her name and add her on Facebook! Everyone is doing that. Send her a life! She’ll be ever so grateful she’ll date you in no time.

Okay maybe I’m kidding about the pickup line part. Who uses real human interaction nowadays? I’ll just say hi through FB message. This way you’ll never feel that it’s too quiet. If she doesn’t reply it’s probably cause of lack of Wi-Fi, her battery died, or M1 satellite just got shot down by Obama or something…

It’s cool, nothing to do with you. You’re fine bro.

But really, what is it with us and all these social networks and communication devices when none of us are actually getting better at communicating?

I mean … why are we so afraid of silence? Is it so hard to admit that perhaps silence is what we really seek in a partner?

I mean … I really won’t mind having someone who makes me feel comfortable not talking.

Silence can be nice… There’s no need to say anything. You just feel like you’ve connected. You start out by breaking the silence, got the endless conversations started all to this one point and then one day, you realize you don’t have to say anything anymore.
She already knows.

Maybe instead of finding someone who we will never be quiet with, we should find someone who makes us feel that it’s alright to be quiet. Someone whom we can share the silence with.

After all…If you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, it’s probably best to find someone who doesn’t talk that much. 😉

Cheers all

Z

“To me… From me…”

We all thought of it. Time travelling. I did.

Hell, who am I kidding?

I still do.

Every other day I’m hoping for the Doctor to drop by with his blue box, or to realize that actually I’m CDP ( chrono displaced personal) or I’m hoping for Emma Watson with her time turner.  Actually, I won’t be greedy, just Emma would be fine.

So yeah, who doesn’t want to time travel?

Today on my way home my mind wandered and I asked myself, “What if I could send letters through time?”

Indulge me for a moment, I know it can’t happen.

Still…If I could…

I would send a letter to myself 6 years back, telling him to talk to that girl sitting in front of him who he has been crushing on. She’s not going to eat you and really she’s very nice, just try to make friends with her.

Just talk to her already, you dumbass.

I would send a letter to myself 5 years back, to the day I failed my English essay. The day my teacher made me read it out in front of the whole class. I’d tell him, dude, please go work on your grammar. And then I’ll tell him to thank her for it, because if she hadn’t done it, I would have never wanted to prove to her that I can write. And I will never be who I am today.

I would probably send a letter to myself 4 years back, to the day my dad was in the hospital, and tell him that’s it’s going to be alright. You will get through this, I promise.

I would probably send a letter to myself 3 years back, to the day I went for my first practice, telling me/him that you are going to meet this girl who’s going to make you fall head over heels for her. Don’t be afraid of committing, love her with everything you got, just trust that it will turn out okay.

I would send a letter to myself 2 years ago, to that day where I broke down in front of my best friend and tell myself, its okay to cry. I know it hurts, it really does, but I promise you it will heal.

I would send a letter to myself a year ago, to the me who only began to chase his dreams, to pursuit his passion and tell him, don’t feel like a failure because you dared to be different. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are one. Not even yourself.

I would send a letter to myself a month ago, to that day, and then tell myself, its okay, it’s time to let go. It didn’t work out but its okay, you know you never regretted a single moment of it. You gave everything you got. It’s nobody’s fault.

I would go back to last Friday, to the me that was buying that second bottle of wine and then tell him, “Don’t. Just don’t” and then slap him real hard on the face.

I would send a letter to me somewhere in the future, to the me who has become so lost in the working world, so caught up with life that he no longer sees the meaning and then tell him, “Dude, never let go of the things you love doing and never forget the people you love.  Those are the ONLY things that matter.”

I would send a letter to my future self when I finally found her, The One, and then tell him, “Never let her go.”

And finally, I would send a letter to me just before I leave this world, and remind him of the days of his youth and tell him, “It’s been a hell of a ride, old man, it’s time to go.”

I guess I don’t have that luxury, and yeah, it’s nice to indulge in the idea that we can make things a little easier for us. But if I have to be very honest with myself, really honest.

There’s not a single bit in time that I would change.

Have a great time all

Cheers
Z

Need and Want theory

The Need and Want theory.

She’s ranting about that guy again. The things he did that swayed her, the thoughtfulness he showed, this one is different she said. Yet somehow they never seem to be more than friends.

That’s how it usually goes, a nice cup of coffee, sweet music and the ranting of his best friend.

The perfect afternoon.

He said nothing, he just smiled to himself.
” What?”
” Nothing… I just thought it’s funny that you are in love again.”

“Well,one of us to be. You never seem to be in love. I don’t even know the kind of girl you like.”

He tried to think of how to describe it. There was a brief silence as she watched him struggle.

“i’m looking for some one who fufiles my wants and my needs.” He said, sipping his coffee.

“Is this something to do with that uniform fetish of yours?”

He let out a laugh involuntarily , almost choking on the beverage.

” Its not! ”  He tried to put in to words what he meant, what has been on his mind all these while.

“I have a theory… its call the need and want theory….

Every relationship in our lives is built around two factors, want and need.

Want would refer to how much we desire another person, the kind of attraction that we have towards them.

Need would refer to how dependent are we on another person.

In a nut shell, the need and want theory helps us to understand the importance of people in our lives and the position that they have in it.”

He paused to let the thought sink in. As he did he studied her face, the way her body language, how her head was tilted backwards as she tries to understand. He knew her expressions all too well… he seen all of it, he been there for her every emotions, happiness, grief, regret…

To know whether she was confused or not seemed almost trivial.

” Let me explain…”

He took out a pen and drew on a napkin

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“For instance , if we need someone more than we want them, we often find ourselves depending our way of life on theirs .

The people we need in our lives can have many different functions that keep us going. Some play the role of the comforter , the shoulder to cry on, the friend. ”

He paused . This time to see if she will get his hint. He smiled at her, she did not notice. She never does, he thought…

Yes, the friend. When a girl needs you more than she wants you, this is where you find yourself stuck in.
” I believe that guys and girls can be just friends, after all if the relationship is based on need, like the need for emotional support, the need for like minds, the need for a female perspective , its not going anywhere other . ”
Just like you my friend. You are stuck in the friend zone. He said to himself.

” So if you are wondering why a guy whom you like turns you down, friend zones you, leaves you hanging. Chances are he needs you, but he doesn’t want you. Don’t blame him, its not an easy decision to make either and I promise you, friendship last longer than most relationships. I’ll explain why later . ”

” Looking at the other end of the graph, what if you want someone but don’t need them?
As crudely put as possible, its just a crush.
Yes you can say you fallen head over heels for her, fallen so deep that you can’t get out , quote me the top ten cheesiest quotes from Nicholas sparks book , sing me a JB song ( I swear I will punch you for that) , cry me a river, but really, if your relationship is based on how much you want him, its nothing more than a crush.

If I isolate you from him, you’ll survive although some might be a little whinny and annoying.

Nothing duct tape can’t fix. ”

She laughed, thought for a while and nodded.
” So what your saying is that I want him, but I don’t need him?”
” I think that’s for you to decide.”
“How do you decide if someone is a need or want?”

” Well, want is a result of our desires, whether it is the physically attraction, or the fact that he fits a certain profile that you desire or admire, .  Sometimes we like someone simply because we want to be wanted, and that they satisfy that condition, some guys are very good at making a girl feel wanted, but that’s just for the period that they like the girl. Want, like all other kinds of desire will fade from one time or another. You cannot sustain a relationship based on want. ”

” So you are saying that if this is a crush, it will fade over time?”

” Yes, but only if you stop keeping in touch with him. Once he stops making you feel wanted, do you still think you will love him? Or do you just love the feeling that he gives you, making you feel like a princess?”

She smiled but said nothing, she didn’t had to. He knew what she was thinking.

” What about need?”

“Need is different. Our needs are based on our dependency towards people, be it how much we trust someone, get emotional support from them, sometimes we need them because they need us.”

“Need can withstand time, we won’t lose them unless they have been replaced from our lives. But honestly, things like trust and understanding is hard to replace. Hence a ‘need’ based relationship  last longer.”

“What about when you need someone as much as you want them?”

“Well,this is just my opinion, but I feel that when that happens… That’s my condition to fall in love. If she can make me want her as much as I need her, I swear I will never let her go.”

“Sounds like an overly attached boyfriend in the making.”

They laughed, finished their coffee. It was getting dark and it was time to call it a day.

“You know, you never told me whether I was a want or a need to you.” she said

” I thought you would know? You’re my best friend, of course I need you.”

He thought for a moment, he knew that that was  right answer, that she can only just be a need to him. You do not want your best friend. He told himself. Yet that was only half true.

They left the cafe, he let his final thought about her question linger like the aroma of coffee.

“I want you to need me more than I need you to want me.”

The End

Writer’s note: I gotten quite a few feedback from people before I decided to post this up, many thanks to all of you. (:

Also, I know that not everyone will agree with the theories, whether its this one or any others that I wrote, but I hope to hear what you think.

Have a great weekend ahead. Hope to hear from you guys soon.

Cheers

Z

Lies

Lies 

People lie every day… We all know that

In other’s face, behind their backs… It mattered little. After all a lie that is not discovered becomes the truth.

Yet… why is it that the most common lies we tell is the lies we tell ourselves?

“I’m fine.”

We tell that to our friends,our family, even our spouse…

“I’m fine…”

Are we really?

It sounded like a consolation to ourselves, some words of encouragement to our broken lives…

Is it really?

Why is it okay to lie to ourselves and yet somehow, it seems wrong when we lie to others?

We do we even lie to ourselves…

I can think of a dozen and one reasons.

To feel better about ourselves

To move on

To let go

To stand up again…

Really?

Or do we lie to ourselves, build a barricade around our broken heart, hide our emotions so that the world will not judge us for our weakness, so that the people around us will not judge us for our flaws…

I have a theory, a small one… more of a thought really…

That perhaps the reason we lie to ourselves..

The reason the words ‘i’m fine’ even exist …

Is that deep down inside, we are screaming for help.

That in the midst of all the lies and all the truth, and all the wrong and all the right.

What we really want isn’t to hide how we feel to the rest of the world.

What we really want is to be accepted.

And its only when we find that one person who accepts us for who we truly us.

Embrace us for our flaws, love us for our weakness.

That one person who effortlessly tear down all the barricades and wall that we’ve spend years building ourselves.

Only when we find them… We can truly be honest to ourselves and say…

“I’m fine.”

Just a thought, 
Cheers (: 

Z

The Disney Theory

We all know the story. Or at least you think you do.

 

Its cliché, overused and unrealistic.

 

Yet we still love it anyway.

 

I mean… Disney paints such beautiful pictures of love.

Fall in love with that girl.

Love in first sight.

 

Steal her from her evil boyfriend cause you know her better, and only you can give her the happiness she deserves.

 

Live happily ever after

 

 

Save her from the wicked witch, a tower, a dragon. Be her prince charming, ride a white horse a magic carpet or heck, and ride a donkey for all I care…

 

Live happily ever after.

 

Happily ever after… really?

 

Every girl wants to be a Disney princess. Wear a gown, crystal shoes, suffer the wrath of a wicked witch, and chew a poison apple… Anything to be the damsel in distress. Waiting for the prince charming to come by. Every guy wants to make the girl his princess. Or queen.

I’ve heard some differing point of views.

 

And at the end of the day, what sums all of it up?

 

A happy ending.

 

Yet our notions of love fall flat in the face of reality. Love very often isn’t as Disney as we expect it to be. Here’s how the story really goes, if it even does. You fall for the girl of your dreams, your best friend, the one who understands you like no other.

 

You chase her, make her feel like a princess, and in turn she falls in love with you. The start is great, the real love story follows. Conflicts arrives, she’s not the princess you thought she is. She gets jealous easily, her temper is horrible, you live under her wrath, she never understands you, and you? How could you possibly understand someone so unreasonable?

 

Where was the girl you once loved? Gone.

 

The after story begins. The best friend becomes the princess; the princess becomes the witch, the ice queen, the dragon.

 

Call it what you want, you know its falling apart.

 

And the prince? He finds another girl, someone who understands him better another best friend…Or he shouts his grieves online as the word sighs for his sorry plight.

But in reality, he’s no better. Who broke the magic? Was it when he started looking at other options, poisoning the princess with jealousy? Or when the feelings faded, hence the magic ends? Or when the man turns into the monster, in anger, in rage, in jealousy.

 

The prince becomes the hypocrite, the victim of love, the beast.

Suddenly it isn’t love that broke the spell. Love is the spell. And it broke with the simplest trick of the book. Time.

Suddenly our love stories become tragedies. We wonder why it always happens to us. Why people always change. We weep in our beds, cursing and swearing.

 

(Now I know I sound like a sour old man, some loser who got his heart broken and now has completely and utterly lost faith in love.  Bear with me, I can promise you I’m still very much the same me.)

 

So that’s how Disney movies go isn’t it?

Or is it…

 

I beg to differ. For me, I like to watch my Disney movies in a different light.

You see… To get the princess, yes we must climb the tower, fight the dragons and slay the witches.

 

But these things aren’t on the outside.

 

They represent the darker side of us. And the ones we love…They are our inner demons, our anger and rage and wrath…We trap ourselves in towers, build walls that hide and protect ourselves from the world, from how others might think of us.. Secretly hoping for someone to tear them down. Someone to embrace the ugly side of us, the beauty in the beast, the frog prince…

 

Love is about these battles, the battles inside. And us? We play every role, the good, the bad and the ugly. Love is about finding that one person that brings out the best in you, the one who can accept the worse in you and the one who understands you like nobody else.

 

The Disney stories were made easy for kids to understand.

 

You don’t find it at the credits; it’s something that you fight for even if it means fighting for the rest of your life.

It is like every other life lesson, something you learn through life…

 

 

And the cost of true love? The price of happily ever after?

 

Never looking back, not regretting a single moment or a choice.

 

Even if that choice is letting.

 

Even if in the end…  The person she ends up with isn’t you.

 

Because you see… It doesn’t matter if she has her happily ever after with you.

 

She just needs to be happy.

 

 

 

To all, happily ever after.

 

Z

 

The Color theory

This one is for all the creative minds (: Kinda long, sorry if it bores ya.

In art, color theory is basically understanding and making sense of the colors around us. Colors are basically a result of light bouncing of a surface and being reflected into our eyes. In life, the color theory of people isn’t that different to. The kind of personality that we see in every individual is a result of looking at them at different lights. And in those lights we shape our perception  of the people around us.

We look at colors in 3 main aspects, the hue the lightness and the saturation.Hue refers to the kind of color it contains. Lightness refers to how dark or light .Saturation is well… how saturated.I guess the same could be said about people.

Our hue is what we call our individual characteristics, whether we are patient, dominant, passive, aggressive…Our lightness refers to the contrast in our personality, whether is it a mild mixture , or a striking contrast of different characteristics .Our saturation would referring to which traits are more dominant, a more saturated hue will give the painting an overall feel and tone. Our dominant personalities will make up the impression.

There are no limits to how colors can be matched, similarly its impossible to classify humans by their personality. You can try but you will end up generalizing, missing the details, overlooking what makes them unique. Each individual has their own painting, creating a distinct impression upon one another … Believe me when I say there’s no one like you. Each one of us is special.Having said that I would like to share my three favorite color themes .

The first is grey scale. Or just simply referred to as black and white. n. No colors. Such paintings I find incredibly honest, simple and yet striking. People who’s personality is in greyscale are rather amazing too. To some they maybe boring or unattractive, yet by simple contrasts of grey  , they develop their own personality. They lead very morally defined lives, using the contrast of black and white, right and wrong to define who they are. They follow principles that are clear and concise, they are like bedrocks, steady, unmoveable , firm.. yet some of us are unable to see such lines so clearly.

Another kind of color scheme is known as Analogous Relationship , where the colors are located adjacent to each other, people like that generally give a clear idea of their personality. For instance a person could be warm, like red orange and yellow, or cool like blue, violet and purple. Their colors make up their core personality, their colors create  a homogeneous impression, rarely doing things that conflicts with their personality. Such people are easy to understand and hence making them more approachable.

The last kind i want to talk about is complementary colors.

This I would say make up the bulk of the most beautiful people I know. And is also one of the color schemes that creates the most beautiful pictures, as well as people. As simple as it is, complementary colors are colors across the color wheel.

When talking in terms of people, it means people who show contrasting personalities.

Like when someone who is usually timid finding strength to speak up for what they believe in.

Or Someone who is usually withdrawn to share their insecurities.

Even someone who is usually strong to show pain.

These are people who step out of their comfort zone to confront with their inner turmoils, these are people who dare to mix the palette forming newer and more mind blowing   combinations, creating contrasts and confusions, creativity and chaos.

We all have a personal preference to the colors we love, be it the impressions they leave us or the emotions they evoke.

It takes time to understand how is it possible that such play of light can lead to such amazing connections.

And i find it even more amazing that we too look at people in different lights to see the colors that make up their life….

To see what truly makes them beautiful.

Cheers

Z