The last theory

Its the third time I saw death.

I didn’t die, but I watched as someone did.

I watched as the people around him tried to bring him back.

I remember the image more clearly than I would like to.
Part of me longs to forget.

But I know I can’t.

He, along with the other two, already became part of who I am.

And for whatever remaining time I have, they’ll be a reminder to me.

A reminder of how short our lives are and how everything we know to love lies on a single thread

And that in a matter of seconds. All that ends…

I’m wish I could aay that I’m not afraid but I am.

We all are.

But for whatever short time I have here just know this.

I have loved and lost. And learn to love that which is lost.
I have lived my life on my own terms, by my own conditions and my own standards and not by the measure of others.

I treasured every laughter and tear and anger and pain. They made me who I am.

I had the chance to fall in love , to feel love and to be loved.

If you let me leave one last theory I guess its this.

My theory is that at the end of the day, this is all that matters.

By my own measures, my life was great.
I ask not to shimmer for a very long time.
I ask to blaze for whatever time is given to me.
That’s  a good enough life for me.

I was fortunate enough to meet people who I can believe in and also meet those that believed in me.

And I know for a fact that if I go, even God so wish…I’ll be missed…

That some how I’ll live on in the lives of those that mattered to me.

And I truly could not ask for more.