The writer’s block, and a quote

 

I guess it’s hard not to admit it, but recently I just lost it. It’s weird. I don’t feel like writing anymore.

Yes, I’m still sitting in front of a computer typing out random stuff that comes to my mind, yes i still remember the password for my blog even though it took me about 6 times to get it right but no, I guess I just haven had the urge to spew my guts out to the world.

Many of my friends asked why the writing has stopped, I wish I could tell you, I have a few ideas but really, some things I guess its better to just keep it off the web. After all, the internet is written in ink and its open for the world to see. But looking back, I have to admit that writing started out for me as more of a distraction than simply a hobby, and now perhaps more than ever, I no longer see a point in being distracted with life when I’m enjoying every single moment of it. It’s funny and weird how some things or some one can help you move on.

I remember a conversation with a friend, who was rather worried with me distracting myself. I asked about the difference between distraction and moving on. He told me this, ‘Moving on is facing whatever you have head on. Its not pleasant and you’ll feel the bulk of whatever’s been biting you.
Distraction is when you’re looking for something to spend your time and energy on. There’s a fine line man. ‘

It’s weird, after all that has happened, I don’t even remember what I was trying to distract myself from. Was it the haunting scars of the past or  the uncertain tracks of the future? Was it the decisions that I needed to make, or those that I was wondering if I made wrong? Was it the regrets of doing some things, or the regrets of not doing it?

It all seems foggy and unclear it makes you wonder what was the point of all those emotions. But the emotions make you feel, it may wreck you or scar you but you grow wiser and more matured from it each time you learn from it. And honestly? I felt that there was so much I have learned.

But now, I think I’ll just put writing a little back in my to-do list. Most of my time has been spent with people I care about, on the things I love, doing covers for songs, drawing and preparing my portfolio, going for MuaiThai classes and getting my ass kicked by a girl, you know, typical Z stuff…

So yeah, I guess you can say that I’m experiencing a writer’s block but really, I like to think  it as I’m taking the time to enjoy every second of my life before I end this chapter. I guess when this chapter does end, the future me will find it in him to write about it. Maybe more lessons learned, maybe more theories and lame essays but until then, I just wish that all of you are doing alright too. That where ever you are, who ever you might be, thanks for the support and encouragement you’ve given me, whether it is in writing, or the music I do, or drawing…

I just want you to know it means so much that you believe in me.

And that I just want to leave you guys with a quote. ( Nerd moment .)

One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.”

Do amazing stuff guys, really. (: Just go out there and blaze the world with awesomeness.

Some people will hate you, I know a few people that are allergic to awesomeness but don’t let it stop you in doing what you believe in, and don’t let it make you take the things you have for granted. Treasure those who care, shun out those who don’t.

 

I’ll catch you guys when I catch you. (:

Cheers

Z

A brief word on words

His words were love, forgive and repent… Yet a few thousand years later, time and time again people have misused those very words to go to war, to start crusades, to brew hate and fuel greed.  His words now became an excuse for wrath, they condemn those who do not follow their “righteousness” instead of forgiving, they seek to destroy instead of repent. They fight holy wars instead of working towards peace. They try to find a meaning in what they believe in but there no longer is one. They seek paradise but forget that hell is just a place where we forget to love, unable to forgive and no longer repent because we are constantly seeking fault in others. They forget that when he came he embraced the worst and the unholy, and he rejected those who deemed themselves religious and right. They forgot his words.
They used their own.

His words were peace and change. To be the change you want to see in the world. His actions were silent and loud. He was beaten, threatened and hungry. But he stood by his words. Live like you will die today, learn like you were to live forever. He lived by it and he spread it. Soon many others followed. Words are powerful. But it is only as powerful as your actions.

His words were anger and hate. He seeks a purity of race where there is none. He rallied armies and set a nation on a war again the world. He almost won. Almost. He would go down in history as one of the vilest man alive in history. His face is an icon. His deeds were horror stories. But his legacy forgotten… No one else has since been able to use words as well as he did.  Imagine if he used it to unite the world instead? Imagine the millions of lives that could have otherwise been saved…

His words were change and yes. Yes we can. He rallied an entire nation together as the world watched the first Black president of the world’s strongest country is born. They watched his every step. Every mistake. They watched as the man that stood for what they believe became just another man who lies. His words were lies. Words were like currency, overuse it and it loses its value, control and spend it wisely and it can give you unimaginable wealth. Forge it and make counterfeits and it becomes useless and forgettable. There was no change. Things would only become worse. No, we no longer believe we can. And no, we don’t care. Because at the end of the day life goes on. It’s hard. But it’s even harder to starve on hope when hope is a lie.

His words were dreams, beliefs and theories. He wrote behind the comfort of his home, his messy desk and the playing of slow jazz through his earpiece. What he wrote were thoughts, ideas penned down in digital ink on the internet.  He believed in chasing one’s dream, he ran on passion to do the things he love. Not many people agreed to it, but it was okay. There were a few that supported him and that was all that mattered. He calls himself a theorist but really he is just a kid, not always but there will be a big part of him that will always be a kid. He believed in doing the things you love because it makes you happy, he believed in the words of others and he slowly crafted the words that would soon become his own. He believes that life’s biggest lessons are learned by mistakes and that everyone fails at some point. You just need to learn to get up. He believed in many things, faith, science, arts, love, friendships… But he also believed in the power of Words. Words can be used to change lives, even his own. And so he wrote down his dreams and pursuit in words. And they will forever be inked at some part of his life, however it might turn out. Where ever his words might take him.

Cheers

Z

The writer’s paradox

Its been a while since i last sat down and ponder upon what to write for my blog.

And suddenly I’m stumped when someone asked me, ” What made you stop?”

You see… beside inflating my already some what bloated ego, writing provides me a outlet to express my frustration and disappointment with life, it provides me a place to express my emotions and to share my perspective on life, love and all that kind of rubbish.

Writing makes me happy. Its like commiting arson. You create a moment of joy and excitement and the state of vulnerability that the risk brings gives you adredeline rush.
The bored will find you entertaining , the busy will find you annoying and there will always be those people at the side line walking by, shouting ” Get a life!”
Plus you burn rubbish and bring light to the world even though no one really asked for it.
So i guess there are only a few logical reasons why someone would not want to indulge in such exciting activity.
1. It’s illegal
2 It’s dangerous
3. You actually have a life and happy with it.
So yeah, unlike arson , I guess why i haven been spending time with the keyboard is because i have been fairly contented with the life i have right now.

Which brings me to this paradox. More of a question I cant explain really. If you write to feel happy but you are already happy, why are you still writing?

Despite being in bliss and contentment,I never really stopped writing.
To those who feel that they haven picked up a pen in a while, here’s my 20 cents worth.
Just to keep it short, here’s 3 reason why you shouldn’t either.

Alright, lets go.

1. Write to stay sharp. Complacency dulls the mind. The Imp once said, ” A mind need books like a sword needs whet.” Like a sword, the writer’s mind rust when he allows himself to over indulge in the fantasies of the reality. He loses his own perception, becomes lazy, and soon he will be rolling over himself just to get a decent sentence going. Dont stop writing. It’s like the gym. Once you stop you never want to start again until the consequences of your laziness becomes obvious to you. And so does everyone around you.

2. Write to reflect. Writing is a reflection of your mind, you never want to go out of your house wearing the wrong pair of shoes. Dont go out without checking how you think either. Writing helps to let you see yourself. Yes ,there are somedays where it is impossible to look yourself in the mirror. Given a choice you dont want to let other people see you that way either. Check your mind. If you start the day with a lousy mindset, you probably won’t have a great day either.
Look and apprieciate the small things. Celebrate the big ones. Treasure each moment because every one of it eventually becomes a memory. Even if you forget it, someone else probably wont. One day you will sit in a cafe with old friends talking about today referring to it as ” the good old days”. How good it is depends on right now. So write and reflect like you would comb yout hair or paint your nails. A matured mind is just as attractive as a thickly powdered face.

3. Write to remember. The very core of the existence of language is dependent on this. Cave men wrote/drew/doodled on walls so that men will rememeber their exsitence . Men write biographies so that others will remember their stories. Writing immortalizes us. But dont just write so that others will remember you, because truth be told after a day or a month or some unpredictable span of time, people stop caring about you. You’re no longer interesting to them. Dont write for others, write for yourself. Write so that one day when you look back, you remember who you were and you will learn from it. Never make the same mistakes and dont ever EVER lose yourself .

I guess I could go on this already boring ramble. As much as I want to say its for someone out there who feels that they need a motivation to write , its really just for me.

So yeah. Keep writing Z, cause its starting to suck .
To everyone else, hope that Monday isn’t going too badly for ya.
Keep going (:

Cheers all

Z